This is something which intrigues me, at times a lot.
I am a Hindu and I firmly believe in my faith, though certainly not to the extent of militancy.
Now, being a Hindu, I have faith in reincarnations, i.e. soul is eternal, it can not get destroyed. It changes bodies till it attains the ultimate state, the "Moksha".
Now this is the origin of my problem, my soul or rather the soul within me. If I go by the above belief, the soul in me, i.e. me, must be in existence before I was born, i.e. before 20 June 1976. I am wondering. What was I earlier, earlier to the above date? If I take a normal gap, which has been assumed in a lot of religious stories, I, in my previous birth, would have died a few months earlier, i.e. early 1976 or late 1975. Now, it means I was there in 60s-70s, the golden period of music in the west, literary activism in India, for sure, during the height of cold-war, Liberation of Bangladesh, Indo-Pak war and Sino-Indian conflict, Vietnam war, ….., …..etc. Effectively, I have witnessed every event/incident, which has shaped our present. The only problem is I don’t know, rather nobody knows, in which part of the world I was.
However, some people know about their previous birth. My wife, for example says that she was a marwari woman in Patna, her sister was also women from a warrior cast and her younger brother was a Bengali kid, who died young. However, she is not sure of my history. Incidentally, all of them were in the nearby regions. I wonder, if this is the case with everybody.
If I go by this assumption, I would have been somewhere in Bihar/Jharkhand/UP/Bengal region (it is a convenient assumption.:)..). But it also means that I have witnessed two most important events of the previous generation, i.e. freedom of India and imposition of emergency or martial law in India. There was another important chain of events taking place on the sidelines of the later, the Naxalite movement or rather suppression of Naxalite movement in Bengal. Did I participate in any of these movements? I know both these issues are very close to my heart. I am a staunch opponent of martial law and I am equally strong opponent of Naxalite politics, rather I would term them as naive, and equally dangerous, thoughts. Naxalite means, to me, no truth no hope assumption based movement. So I would say that I would have participated, or rather supported, the student movement leading to imposition of emergency in India. I would have been too old to be a student (I know I could not be a congressman and hence could not be a student or youth leader during 1970s, i.e. just before my last death And, in any case congressmen did not participate in that movement. The movement was against the congress). I am enticed to fancy myself as an old politician, who became a politician in the free India by virtue of participating in the freedom struggle, who supported students’ movement and who was imprisoned and later he died before the emergency was lifted. Emergency was lifted after I was born in the present life. I still try to imagine days, or months, after the independence. During those days, if we go by the yardstick defined by congress, i.e. whoever participated in the freedom struggle and was alive after independence was a leader, it would not be exaggerated to say that those days population of India constituted more of leaders than common man. I am still trying to visualize those moments, though I have seen and felt them in my previous life.
Now the issue is “what was my age when I died last time”. Based on the fact that so far I have lived a perfectly normal life, which, as per conventional beliefs, indicate that I had a normal previous life, I can assume that I died of natural cause and also that I died after living my full life. Now, those days life expectancy was less, so even a life of 55-60 yrs was supposed to be god enough. If I go with the assumption that I died last at the age of 55 years means that last time I was born in the period of 1915-1920. It means that while India was fighting for its freedom I was there. Rather during the peak of its freedom struggle, i.e. in 1930s and 1940s, I, too, was at the peak of my youth. Does it mean that I participated in freedom struggle too? I am passionate about India, its history and culture and my Indian roots, I am convinced that I participated in Indian freedom struggle.
Now it also means that I died earlier, during the period of 1912-1915. Died of what? And, with what unfulfilled dream? Not seeing a free India? Again, going by the assumption of living for 50-55 years before dieing, I would have born in 1860-1865. I would continue with the assumption of being Indian even in that life. It means that I have seen India coping with effects of post-1st war of freedom. I would have undergone, felt and seen steady, though slow, percolation of political awareness in Indian society. I would also witness the development of pockets of industries, though primary, in India. And, I would have seen birth of religious polarization of population of India.
However, if I take these sets of assumption a step further. I realize that I would have died during 1858-1860. Does it mean that I participated in India's first war freedom too? Did I die fighting or later killed by English as a punishment of participating in the uprising? Or, worst of all, did I die of broken heart, not been able to accept the failure of our attempt? I do not know? Rather, I am unable to assume anything. And, now I do not find enough enthusiasm to continue the back-tracing.
I notice one similarity. Every time I have died, or rather would have died in all my previous lives, I have died in expectation of something. Wanting something to happen but could not see that happen. Will this happen this time too?
I am just 31 years old and expect to least another 30-40 odd years. What would I miss while dieing this time? Will it be India ruling the world? But will the world remain worth ruling? Will there be any ice on mountains, waters in rivers, forests and any, so-called, natural resources anywhere to covet and worth ruling? Who knows? And what will happen after this cysle? Given the person I am, I am sure my soul is certainly not going to get "Moksha" this time. It means it will have to come back next time too. What will be there then?
I am a Hindu and I firmly believe in my faith, though certainly not to the extent of militancy.
Now, being a Hindu, I have faith in reincarnations, i.e. soul is eternal, it can not get destroyed. It changes bodies till it attains the ultimate state, the "Moksha".
Now this is the origin of my problem, my soul or rather the soul within me. If I go by the above belief, the soul in me, i.e. me, must be in existence before I was born, i.e. before 20 June 1976. I am wondering. What was I earlier, earlier to the above date? If I take a normal gap, which has been assumed in a lot of religious stories, I, in my previous birth, would have died a few months earlier, i.e. early 1976 or late 1975. Now, it means I was there in 60s-70s, the golden period of music in the west, literary activism in India, for sure, during the height of cold-war, Liberation of Bangladesh, Indo-Pak war and Sino-Indian conflict, Vietnam war, ….., …..etc. Effectively, I have witnessed every event/incident, which has shaped our present. The only problem is I don’t know, rather nobody knows, in which part of the world I was.
However, some people know about their previous birth. My wife, for example says that she was a marwari woman in Patna, her sister was also women from a warrior cast and her younger brother was a Bengali kid, who died young. However, she is not sure of my history. Incidentally, all of them were in the nearby regions. I wonder, if this is the case with everybody.
If I go by this assumption, I would have been somewhere in Bihar/Jharkhand/UP/Bengal region (it is a convenient assumption.:)..). But it also means that I have witnessed two most important events of the previous generation, i.e. freedom of India and imposition of emergency or martial law in India. There was another important chain of events taking place on the sidelines of the later, the Naxalite movement or rather suppression of Naxalite movement in Bengal. Did I participate in any of these movements? I know both these issues are very close to my heart. I am a staunch opponent of martial law and I am equally strong opponent of Naxalite politics, rather I would term them as naive, and equally dangerous, thoughts. Naxalite means, to me, no truth no hope assumption based movement. So I would say that I would have participated, or rather supported, the student movement leading to imposition of emergency in India. I would have been too old to be a student (I know I could not be a congressman and hence could not be a student or youth leader during 1970s, i.e. just before my last death And, in any case congressmen did not participate in that movement. The movement was against the congress). I am enticed to fancy myself as an old politician, who became a politician in the free India by virtue of participating in the freedom struggle, who supported students’ movement and who was imprisoned and later he died before the emergency was lifted. Emergency was lifted after I was born in the present life. I still try to imagine days, or months, after the independence. During those days, if we go by the yardstick defined by congress, i.e. whoever participated in the freedom struggle and was alive after independence was a leader, it would not be exaggerated to say that those days population of India constituted more of leaders than common man. I am still trying to visualize those moments, though I have seen and felt them in my previous life.
Now the issue is “what was my age when I died last time”. Based on the fact that so far I have lived a perfectly normal life, which, as per conventional beliefs, indicate that I had a normal previous life, I can assume that I died of natural cause and also that I died after living my full life. Now, those days life expectancy was less, so even a life of 55-60 yrs was supposed to be god enough. If I go with the assumption that I died last at the age of 55 years means that last time I was born in the period of 1915-1920. It means that while India was fighting for its freedom I was there. Rather during the peak of its freedom struggle, i.e. in 1930s and 1940s, I, too, was at the peak of my youth. Does it mean that I participated in freedom struggle too? I am passionate about India, its history and culture and my Indian roots, I am convinced that I participated in Indian freedom struggle.
Now it also means that I died earlier, during the period of 1912-1915. Died of what? And, with what unfulfilled dream? Not seeing a free India? Again, going by the assumption of living for 50-55 years before dieing, I would have born in 1860-1865. I would continue with the assumption of being Indian even in that life. It means that I have seen India coping with effects of post-1st war of freedom. I would have undergone, felt and seen steady, though slow, percolation of political awareness in Indian society. I would also witness the development of pockets of industries, though primary, in India. And, I would have seen birth of religious polarization of population of India.
However, if I take these sets of assumption a step further. I realize that I would have died during 1858-1860. Does it mean that I participated in India's first war freedom too? Did I die fighting or later killed by English as a punishment of participating in the uprising? Or, worst of all, did I die of broken heart, not been able to accept the failure of our attempt? I do not know? Rather, I am unable to assume anything. And, now I do not find enough enthusiasm to continue the back-tracing.
I notice one similarity. Every time I have died, or rather would have died in all my previous lives, I have died in expectation of something. Wanting something to happen but could not see that happen. Will this happen this time too?
I am just 31 years old and expect to least another 30-40 odd years. What would I miss while dieing this time? Will it be India ruling the world? But will the world remain worth ruling? Will there be any ice on mountains, waters in rivers, forests and any, so-called, natural resources anywhere to covet and worth ruling? Who knows? And what will happen after this cysle? Given the person I am, I am sure my soul is certainly not going to get "Moksha" this time. It means it will have to come back next time too. What will be there then?
But, is this story of mine different from the story of any other guy/lady of my generation???
P.S.: I would like to imagine the next life too. But I would rather not. In last few years the pace of change has been too fast for imagination. I still remember. Standing in a que of 12-15 students in 1998-1999, at a PCO in Kanpur, waiting for my turn to call another PCO at Bokaro, requesting them to call my parents so that I could exchange a few lines with them, about me, them and my brother, I never imagined that all us would be having individual mobile commnication instrument talking simultaneously with everybody. The speed of change has got accelerated. I would rather wait for the next birth to write another piece like this than writing something imagining about that and end up laughing at the same just after a few years from now, well before reaching the next life.
